A guide for family & loved ones
When you are ready to ask for help together.
Planning a supportive conversation or professional intervention.
When someone you love is struggling, it can be difficult to know whether to speak up, what to say, or who should be involved. Begin with what you have noticed and one achievable next step.
Some families also need a qualified professional to help them assess the situation and plan safely. If help is urgent, start here.
Start with support
Make room for an honest conversation.
The purpose is to open a path to care. Choose language grounded in concern and specific observations, and listen to the person’s perspective. Avoid cornering them, debating every detail, or asking for a promise they cannot make. [1]
A first conversation may lead to an assessment, another conversation, or a decision to seek more guidance. It does not guarantee that someone will enter treatment that day. Keep participation voluntary and give the person room to make decisions.
Before the conversation
A little preparation can help you stay grounded.
A licensed addiction or mental-health professional can help you consider whether a planned intervention is appropriate, who should be involved, and what support may be needed. Professional guidance is especially important when there is a history of violence, serious mental-health symptoms, or suicidal behavior. [4]
- Consider safety first.Intoxication, withdrawal, or immediate danger may require medical care. A family gathering cannot take its place.
- Choose a private, steady moment.Wait until the person is safe and able to participate. Avoid a surprise group confrontation.
- Prepare a few observations.Describe what you have noticed, how it affects you, and one realistic offer of help.
- Know your own boundaries.Think about what you can offer and what you need for your wellbeing. Seek guidance about boundaries you can follow through on.
- Find support for yourself.A trusted professional or family support meeting can help you prepare for the conversation and whatever comes next.
During the conversation
Say what you see. Leave space to listen.
Keep your tone calm and the request manageable. You do not need perfect words. A starting point might sound like this:
“I care about you. I have noticed some changes, and I would like us to talk with someone who can help us understand the options.”
Ask what support would feel useful. Give the person time to answer, and include their preferences when exploring care. If the conversation becomes unsafe, stop and seek appropriate help. [1]
If they are not ready
Your own support can begin now.
More than one conversation may be needed. You can still speak with a professional, attend a family support meeting, and get care for yourself. Your wellbeing does not have to wait for someone else’s decision. [3]
You can also ask a qualified professional about Community Reinforcement and Family Training, or CRAFT. It helps families encourage treatment engagement through supportive communication and behavior change. NIAAA’s alcohol-specific guidance reports stronger treatment-engagement evidence for CRAFT than confrontational interventions. This is not a guarantee for an individual or for every condition. [2]
Places to find your own support
SMART Recovery Family & Friends Al-Anon · support around someone else’s drinking Gam-Anon · support around someone else’s gamblingA practical next step
Bring the questions you have.
When you contact Eleve, you can describe what you are seeing, ask how an assessment works, and discuss questions about current programs, insurance, and next steps. You can call even if your loved one has not agreed to treatment.
Ask what support is available for your situation, what may need to be arranged with another professional, and what costs still need confirmation. An adult’s permission determines what information can be shared about their treatment.
When it is urgent
Get the right help for this moment.
Do not wait for an intervention-planning appointment in an emergency.
Medical emergency or immediate danger
Call 911 for emergency help.
Emotional or suicidal crisis
Contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for crisis support.
Sources & further reading
Keep learning, at your own pace.
This general guide draws on the resources below. A qualified professional can help you apply the information to your family’s situation.